When you are alone, a failure and there's no way out
Sleep eludes you and in its place everything crowds on to the top line of your stress levels, it's awful.
Daybreak brings some relief but if you are in a cycle of stress you know another night of it is coming.
A core component of this is the aloneness. As a leader in the org you may feel entirely solitary in how you feel. Sure, you may have a few allies who get it but what you may also need is a way to work those things through.
You need a professional gang who have got your back and won't climb into the pity pit with you. They've got the skills to help you think differently and they've got time and attention for you.
Three things you can do:
Be a grown up and do all the right things before bed, it really helps, you know what they are
Call three people you think are open to this and tell them you want to get into regular chats to talk about the challenges and give support to each other
Have an end time i.e., we'll meet for 3 months, twice a month for 90 minutes, see how it's working and then see if we want to carry on after that (t has to be OK to stop).
At a bare minimum that will help alot - you'll see you're not alone, you'll be getting some sleep and you'll be deepening relationships with colleagues
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